As I was reading Jasmine’s post on her mystical death experience I recalled my near death experience in 2012 and death experience in 2016. I was not fully prepared in either case to die. Ego doesn’t want to die and it can’t commit suicide. Until you know dying you can’t truly live. We die every moment because a new ‘I’ emerges in every ‘now’ and contains its entire space-time field with it but memory gives illusory continuity and false sense of self(personality) therefore we keep assuming that we are the same persons we were, a minute, a second, an hour or an year ago.
The reason why you can’t be fully prepared for near death experience is–because it’s a mystical process of self-discovery and awakening and unfolds uniquely for everyone. There might be guides or masters but they exist in all the dimensions like you do. As my integration kept happening after my death in 2016 I realized that I had died many times before. In 2003 when I was taking a test in Kota(Rajasthan) my father had come to receive me to take me back to home town as my session was ending. He had a dream in which I died so he eagerly came to pick me up and told about the dream. We dismissed it as I was alive and kicking but in truth I had died then and there only I didn’t realize it fully until 2016.
As I meditated intensely in 2003 and kept holding my breath for more than 3-4 minutes I tried increasing size of carotid arteries to increase my inteelligence but they made me even more depressed. I started practicing TAAL(rhythmic breathing) a technique I invented and it created divine melodies inside me and relieved me from anxiety. Thus the old person died in the process and new enlightened one came into the existence but residual unconsciousness was much therefore my first long Dark Night of Soul at home started as my parents kept scolding me for having read mystic Osho’s books during my stay at Kota
The second time I died in 2007 when I entered into super-conscious state of Laya-Samadhi by holding my breathe and concentrating fully on sound vibrations which were very loud–this was supremely ecstatic experience and from then on I could recreate it anytime but it lasted 2-5 minutes on my time-scale(I didn’t understand quantum timelines and dimensions back then)–but these ecstatic trances did little to truly alter my surroundings as I had thought that everything should magically become ‘perfect’ as I entered into highest state. But the state was forced and a precursor to what had to become natural in future. I felt meditation on WORD created more harmonious surroundings for me.
Then I again died in 2012 when Kundalini arose in meditation room as I focused on LOGOS under the influence of Bhaang(cheap Marijuana mixed in tea)– I suffered pain like hell for a few minutes and told my parents I was going to die-my heart and brain were both pumping loudly and there was immense heat. I cried like a baby when standing outside the clinic of a doctor who diagnosed nothing and asked my parents to consult psychiatrist who later kept me on Schizophrenia medicines for about six months.
Then I again died in 2016. This time I was prepared or I thought I was. I consumed Bhaang systematically for about two months and intensely focused on WORD and also witnessed many miracles. I wasn’t prepared because the focus was based on drug which had its own defects. Anyway-this time I died more than ever before because I was conscious and had tasted nectar after breaking off of Rudra Knot in 2014. Though I was torn apart and couldn’t recollect any memories until I didn’t fortunately find myself reading Tibetan Book and meditating on LOGOS again in January–I kept wandering in many realms and universes. Only in retrospect I could recollect wisdom and observe that I had died many times but didn’t recognize it until now.
Now death truly seemed natural. I had intuitive conviction in 2008 while reading Origin of Species that “There was no death for me.” I wrote about it and discussed with friends but it couldn’t become true realization until now. Moreover the dawn of realization made it clear that no death was ‘final.’ We die to be reborn every moment and we keep switching between dimensions every moment without being aware of it. Only when we accept eternal death as a ‘fact’ eternal life becomes possible as a fact. I used to worry much about Karma as I used to eat my food here after 2016 death because I didn’t know whether I was eating in a ghostly realm or in a human realm or in a divine realm–they were so fluid that within an hour I could have visited all three of them based on simple words I had uttered or choices I have made while sitting on my seat. The sentence “it takes as much time to take a meal as the gap between out-breath and inbreath,” became my savior because The Tibetan Book of The Dead was telling me to focus on point where outbreath becomes inbreath–a technique which I had tried to practice in my life-time. When you forget everything and don’t do anything else except sustaining body-mind by eating a meal–you will immediately recall the technique each time you are offered food. Then you will find ‘Self’ or ‘Void’ because gap between outer and inner breath is VOID. Thus instead of creating more Karma I created positive Karma during each meal with help of Tibetan Book when nothing was there to hold onto.
I also understood after this death what ghostly realms meant. Pretans live like humans and eat like humans and do everything like we do only that they are greedy and needy. In fact Pretans don’t know that they are pretans–similarly many other realms will look like yours as there are infinite frequencies in a given bandwidth which subtly separate various realms. Now I appreciated why Hindus offer oblations and food to their dead ancestors. It’s karmically added into your account so that after death you at least get nourishment from Pretans. It will come from people who look exactly like people before death–they maybe your friends or neighbors or anyone but you don’t know you have died. Therefore if evolutionary momentum takes you to ghostly realm you will be given food and shelter and won’t feel anxious about it even if you feel ‘odd’ about overall environment.
Similarly if you reach heaven–unless you had left your family at death willingly or you were a saint capable of leaving body at will(light body vehicle)–you will find yourself in an environment of great beauty and harmony but still surrounded with familiar people because we create our own environment at each level projected from our own heart.There will not be a god waiting for you but many gods looking exactly like your family members, neighbors, friends or whatever is applicable.
These infinite dreams of living, dying, rebirth and dreaming exists inside each other in infinite layers and your own mind projects these infinite layers as consciousness. Being able to empty your consciousness or going beyond it means becoming emptiness or VOID which is LOVE. Only when we become capable of loving everyone and everything including ourselves and there are no traces of darkness left–we can leave our bodies at will with light bodies and travel into new dimensions very consciously so that there is no illusion about death or rebirth. You had already died many deaths until you started recognizing what death truly was and what actually died. You were never born and never died and it was only bundle of memories which died and kept reassembling itself even in life and after death. Now you appreciate life, freedom, creativity and love fully.
If you’ve read so far as a sincere friend or reader I want to tell you that whenever you had severe pain or fell unconscious or had a near death experience or heart attack you actually died. We are moving from dimension to dimension every moment and when we sleep we consciously choose to undergo a mini-death process but in case of NDE or heart attacks or some other painful experiences you actually die and emerge in another REALITY. If you accept it and appreciate it fully it will make your life joyous and beautiful in every realm and it will accelerate your awakening because death is never a tragedy it’s fear of death. Death is like changing clothes and literally so.
Mystic poet Kabir says:
Jis marne te jag dare mere man anand, marne hi te paiye purna parmananda
The death of which world is so afraid is a joy for my mind. Only death can give you perfect bliss.