Gnostics believe that Sophia is always saved by the Christ. I feel it’s true based on my experience. Sophia or I AM presence is beyond but its personal knowledge is tainted by darkness. LOGOS comes as a saviour. This divine play unfolds insides consciousness but carries pointers to beyond consciousness. I started witnessing my thoughts in a systematic way when I was about 17 years old as I used to write them down in a stream of consciousness fashion to increase my intelligence. I started having layers of dreams and dreams where I used to become tiger or butterfly. Layers between subconscious and unconscious kept becoming thinner and eventually I found Power of Now/J Krishnamurti who suggested to witness every thought. I started doing that but knack was missing. As I used to witness these ideas a great amount of energy became available to me which found not creative outlet despite my hours of scribbling. I found myself getting swings of mood and anger on people and surroundings. I had practiced rhythmic breathing and invented a technique for saving myself from anxiety, stomach ulcer and death when I was preparing for an entrance exam in Kota(Rajasthan)–that technique has been covered in my old blog in detail in many posts. I used to cover my ears with help of fingers to amplify feedback and listened my breathing which was synchronized with clock’s second hand. I used to practice it for many hours on. It awakened my Kundalini but I wasn’t aware. I started listening fine inner melodies inside my body as I covered my ears.
I did nothing with the word which generated inside my body at an age of 17. It was the greatest gift I had but didn’t recognize and it remained almost dormant till I was 21. I used to marvel at the fact that I had these signs of yogis but didn’t know what to do with them and didn’t have an urge to find a live master either as I believed there were none in my surroundings. I kept meditating and at an age of 21 I was forced to cover my ears again. I heard such divine melodies that they salved my soul which was being torn apart by my relatives and surroundings. I lived in heaven for next year but the devil which lives in the details and helps you organize the TRUTH lured me softly. I had made it a rule to listen to word for 3 hours everyday–I kept following it for a while and dramatically my surroundings changed. I was witnessing thoughts with covered ears by directly witnessing sounds and I started seeing whole ‘chunks’ of ideas, songs and feelings or say listening inside myself. Then the doubt–is it better to witness the sound or try to merge in it arose. I feel this is still a question–a philosophical one and almost spiritual. The Black ray of being or YAHWEH or IAMTHATIAM will say that WORD was a GOD so you must only witness the LOGOS and don’t try to merge into it. The White ray of BECOMING will say that WORD is the GOD so listen to it humbly and try to merge into the highest sound. Between these two you try to find your home.
I was only struggling with this and kept experimenting with both. Truly I feel witnessing happens on its own once you’ve triggered the ‘witnessing layer’ and become aware of it–so if you engage your greater bandwidth into listening–some will be given to witnessing layer and if you engage your greater bandwidth to witnessing layer some will be given to listening WORD. My feeling is that we should not let any of these go altogether. WITNESSING and LISTENING should go hand-in-hand. That is why I was so drawn to witness sounds with covered ears because they were subtle forms of thoughts which made me capable of nipping them in bud. I had to watch darkness in details therefore DEVIL lured me away from pure listening. First I stopped listening for continuous 3 hours. Laziness overtook me, then I started listening 3 hours in a day in different sittings. I kept doing this but gradually a day came when I started listening only for two hours and gradually the bliss was fading as I was enjoying the riches around me. My surroundings and my family had undergone a drastic change which I thought had nothing to do with my meditations. It was in fact my meditation which took me to a more developed dimension(universe) of which I was not aware. Then gradually dust started building up as I only resorted to listening WORD rarely and forgot its importance. I used it to enter into LAYA SAMADHI by force–as I used to hold breath and merge into the sounds generated but it was not very effective for my overall surroundings because they remained unchanged. I recalled that though SAMADHI has been very praised in literature on YOGA it was meditation on WORD which led to awakening and increased harmonious vibrations.
Listening to WORD for THREE hours everyday used to charge my LOVE batteries and my heart for at least a day.. I used to be in heaven and then I again needed to recharge it. I didn’t know many things as I hadn’t tasted the nectar of immortality–the water of life and my tenth gate was still not open. In 2014 I took initiation from Surat-Shabd-Yoga master Saint Rajinder Singh ji and then my third eye opened fully giving me taste of nectar. It’s only a GURU who can point to nectar. I had such a strong urge to take initiation though I could not carry on the practices the way they had suggested because of my independent and experimental nature but his blessings always remained with me and helped me in tough times.
Be it external form of chanting names or internal form of listening LOGOS–it is always the NAME which saves us and not FORM. All forms are dependent on NAME. The eternal name is eternal savior. Reality is beyond name and form but the eternal name carries us to the REALITY smoothly. The outer way of experiencing, accepting, discarding and rejecting through events is equally valid but needs a great understanding and maturity and this maturity comes with WORD. It nourishes you from within and never leaves you alone. When we start listening inner sounds they are faint as external sounds and darkness has covered it. When we keep practicing it grows in resonance, beauty and intensity–then you can keep hearing it all the time even without covering your ears in the open environment. I had great difficulty in reaching to a level where I could listen WORD all the time even in public with open ears because I needed to learn a few lessons. You can’t leave your mind wandering for rumination for a great deal of time because it’s eaten up by agents of DEVIL–it’s not same as creating consciously or visioning a great vista of possibilities. That is why one-pointedness has to be maintained by any means possible–especially by using a mantra or a sound you can keep repeating consciously which saves you from psychic attacks. When you get time you should listen to WORD earnestly. Listening to natural music, instrumental sounds, binaural beats, solfeggios, violin or harp also helps you stay tuned–yet you need to tune-in with your inner ears to stay connected to LOGOS.
Being present and witnessing darkness becomes difficult if you are sensitive and haven’t tamed your inner demons fully. Outer merely reflects inner and after sometime inner and outer become ONE.Listening to outer sounds which are not natural and low in harmony but great in variety might reduce your frequency of vibration–so unless you have become an accomplished master you need to be careful in that regard. Even if you feel you have reached a satisfactory level–it’s better to tune-into the word everyday. The darkness will treat you with respect then.
Another challenge was to choose posture. Sitting in a pyramidal or noprmal posture and covering my ears was not for me because I had used table and chair–then I practiced it lying down, standing up and with very many things. My sibling whom I had taught to listen to word and which saved him in dark times used to insert his fingers inside his ears and I tried that as well but that resulted in swelling of my inner ears and pain so I kept using normal MUDRA until recently when I found VAISHNAVI MUDRA which suggests to cover ears with thumbs and use rest of the fingers top cover your eyes and forehead. You can keep experimenting with variations and enviornment and select whatever suits you the best. The night time is good for the practice or early morning–You can download light codes from Sun, Stars, Sky, Arctuarians, Pleadians, Sirians, Orians and Andromedans. Their language is frequency so keep listening and let sounds grow to an extenty where they totally consume your conscious bandwidth.