Learning to Stand Up and Walk!

Expansion of consciousness makes you more intelligent, aware and loving. The darkness shatters you and you take shattered pieces of yourself and transmute them into light one by one. There remains no difference between intelligence, awareness, love, light and energy because you tend to become more and more heart centered. The harmony between yin and yang and vitality which comes by transmuting darkness make you realize love you carry within yourself to be your innermost core-which is reflected in your environment-in your relations. It’s your very being which you observe using eyes of your yidems, twin-flames and soulmates. The deeper you feel this love more the yearning to be with it grows and it’s an eternal quest to discover and rediscover what is always yours-your being. You need nothing because you can never lose yourself. Like a phoenix you have seen becoming burnt in the alchemical fire again and again–so now you know there is no death for you except one which seems like darkness and fear overpowering you.

You know you die every moment as ego but as consciousness you’re eternal awareness and beyond consciousness you’re eternal silence which is unfathomable and indescribable. The techniques which you lost in your every death in this awakening process meet you again as you recollect wisdom and reunite with your angelic friends. Your spiritual friends hold keys for you whenever you feel lost in the matrix during your awakening and they merely show you a clean, pure, loving mirror which reflects YOU as a KEY. NOW, LOGOS, WORD, LIGHT, DOWNLOAD, UPLOAD, WITNESSING, BEING, NONDOING, ACCEPTANCE, TAO, COURAGE, VIBRANCY, SURRENDER and I AM. They are all powerful keys in form of words and they live eternally inside your spirit, inside your core heart. You can never lose them.

As a young child I used to envision cosmic dissolution flood like that of Noah’s Ark fame coming through my house’s door when it was raining heavily and taking me with it. It was almost an obsessively regular occurrence and it didn’t frighten me. In those days I didn’t imagine the dissolution (pralaya) being my moving into new dimensions of existence. Then I kept moving into parallel realities without being aware of it. My only intention was to get liberated from suffering which I carried deep in my heart as I witnessed it around me. I kept soaking it from my surroundings without being aware of it and hence being unable to isolate myself from it with intelligence and diligence. Most of it was because of lack of peace of mind. The peace which I always loved was denied to me because I had dysfunctional family and society around me. I tried to achieve one-pointedness by yogic breathing but always found myself scattered all over the place because people around me were suffering. Their voices always pulled me out of my trances and still do but now what-is-what seems more clear than ever. It seemed as if I had mastery in spiritual disciplines and ease in acquiring new information from books and traditions but it was the enviornment where I needed to pay my heavy dues. I chose this tough love to wake up. My twin flames were my relatives–my harshest masters which taught me all I needed.

Spiritual masters never demanded anything from me and lovingly gave all they knew–I followed them as my inner self and like them rarely kept anything for myself. With open heart I shared my love and light to alleviate suffering but somehow it was always dark below the lamp. Had Buddha not left his house–would he have been able to get enlightened? I found the shadows of my father and mother over me again and again and they still haunt me. They died many times for me as I did and they kept reappearing in new forms again and again. I lived away from my physical father for about ten years and I found some other authoritative figures trying to control and manipulate me into fulfilling their desires and ends in my father’s absence. It was an archetype. My harshest masters were my parents–then my siblings, then my friends and relatives–reflecting all the impurities I carried inside me.

Twin flames which kept appearing for me were all demanding, controlling, secretive, manipulative, sensual and power-driven personalities mostly. My parents speak too loudly and so do most people around me and it has been so since forever. My mother had problem of thyroid and she never realized that it was because of her harsh speech and narrow heart. My father had many addictions and he was an eternal servant of anger, darkness and manipulation. He still shouts and tries to control women in his household who gladly oblige because we here still live in a nineteenth century DARK India.  My grandfather was loved because his father loved him. My father had a great longing to earn wealth and he didn’t like my grandfather’s luxurious living and being unable to provide for the education and welfare of my father somehow–though evidence to the contrary also exists–it was a dysfunctional poverty ridden bramhanical family in middle India. I had seen my grandfather beating and abusing my grandmother everyday and it still seems to be the ‘norm’ in many families here. In my immediate surroundings the violence seems to be more of a mental anger, controlling and manipulation even when the ladies earn bread as the men do. I thought I was a martyr growing up because I wanted to alleviate suffering of my ailing mother when my alcoholic abusive father used to quarrel every night and beat her often–no it was dark forces playing. My mother never really tried to split apart from him–she never had the courage and I often wondered why. The reason was she had no place to go. Her parents were better off after her marriage because they never knew why they gave birth to 8 children when they could afford only 3 of them. I was eaten up by an overwhelming compassion for women around me and dark forces kept feeding off of me.

My father always felt poor. Having worked for more than 32 years as a government servant(and also my mother was a government servant too) he still needs more. I never wanted to work in a rotten society and wanted to escape as a renunciate. Something kept dragging me off until 2012 when I was ripened. The three years of working gave me enough experience that the world was not enough for me. My romantic interest reflected all traits of my father–controlling, manipulative and power-driven though also caring and compassionate top an extent which is why first I got attracted to her and later thought that I was witnessing a drama on stage in which there was no love. I realized there was some love and I was not the guru I thought I was because I had my own demons to conquer. All relations taught me to love myself more and accept things as they were. I tried to be guru of my parents as early as I was 10 years old. I tried to be guru of my siblings, friends and relations but none of them ever truly heard me because I was not listening to my inner voice and it was not time. After a while my awakenings made me enter into new dimensions where old limitations were no more still I could hear cries of pain. Whenever I confronted my father and other males in my family who were trying to ‘control’ others via anger, fear and manipulation–I was given an answer that it was a ‘system’ ‘a family unit’ which needed to run like this. I could see many different ways to run it but it was not my interest to show people who had both their eyes and heart shut off.

My mother who seemed like an innocent suffering and vulnerable lady seemed to imbue more and more of traits of my father as she grew up. Now it’s hard to tell the difference because she has helped them every bit to manipulate me in last 5 years. She didn’t let me go and live the life of my dreams–every time creating an epic scene or emotional; drama at public places when I tried to escape this household. I thought I paid enough for having chosen this vehicle to be born but masters say that we are where we need to be and that is what acceptance means. I am every bit what I needed to be–awake and I ruminate over pieces of memories when a painful or angry voice is heard around me which has been growing more and more in the last few days. Without fail whenever i made peace with myself and felt complete I heard voices around me getting angrier and harsh as if something out there didn’t like it or needed energy from me. There is infinite energy of love inside everyone but the shadows don’t want to listen the music of spheres. My parents kept accumulating useless garbage all their lives and they are still doing the same controlled by dark entities they worship ritually. They never donated material things out of genuine goodwill and they kept piling up. I showed them heaps of unused materials over years requesting them to get rid of them but their poverty consciousness ridden minds never gave them up thinking that they would be ‘used’ in future. The amount of dark energy which remained trapped in those objects never let them see light of renunciation and freedom which comes with realization that happiness is not dependent on objects or relations.

I kept thinking that I was fortunate to not have seen any natural catastrophe though having died many times over in a single life-time I found that cosmic dissolution happened and I witnessed supramental cosmic world war between good and bad and when I had my cards down I had already been chosen to play from the side of good. I wanted nothing but the Truth. I realized that the game was a drama on a stage–eternal and lasted only a moment. Traversing between many parallel universes I started learning inhabiting realities where love was the law–attaining ‘mind isolation’ and bliss by help of spiritual friends and lovers–with an open heart full of gratitude.

Keeping your subtle channels clean is important. It allows the free flow and play of energy and makes you vital and balanced. Now I have the courage to go to roof and meditate in open air and I am able to do mild breathing exercises as I could before dying last time–consciously–then unconsciously not being convinced that I had died. There was a beautiful soul in my college as a teacher of Civil Engineering. He once told that a shy boy who was intelligent but hesitant met him. After their discussion he started following his counsel and it resulted in his intellectual development. The teacher said that the boy reported to him with zest “Sir, now I can even answer in the class.”

The teacher said: do you people understand what it meant for the boy who couldn’t even comprehend lessons before? It meant a world to him. Can you imagine the all round development he had undergone–being able to answer in his class meant he had many new abilities in other domains. The example was beautiful because anyone of you reading it must know that I had no idea about what to do and where to go just two months ago. I live in a new world now–though I write as I used to write before–out of joy, compassion, loving and an urge to heal, teach and redeem myself and others–I am not the person who wrote before. Something else is writing now. It’s writing itself–love. I had many doubts about using spiritual techniques which had saved me from severe metal and physical traumas and accidents before. It was because my entrance into fifth dimension via fourth seemed to create a new timeline and portal every new hour for some time because my consciousness was extremely fluid after my death.  I decided to stop being torn apart in experiments and to educate, experiment, learn, stabilize and be free consciously. Little choices made me gain all knacks, techniques, help and friends day-after-day. Evolutionary momentum is very easy to gain and lose in these days of transition. Though life continuum is eternal–new higher laws(logos) need to be listened to and mastered with love in order to stabilize here. Now I can consciously do all the things I used to do back in 2016 for meditation, sharing and education but the way I do them has changed a great deal. My spiritual seeds were intact in light and I regained them easily–though my memory was very fragile for a while( and it still is in some ways because only what needs be known comes to me unasked and rest I forget easily!)

Every hour has been a new adventure in this new dimension now. In one dimension you fight boredom and in another you fight adventure because too much too soon might seem to frighten you! The way is to use whatever comes your way and make it pure love. In order to purify channels you can use any tools you have mastered. I have practiced alternate nostril breathing for over a decade(linear time) now. You can google for the technique as it’s quite common in yogic tradition. The intent should be to cleanse subtle pathways especially central channel. The central channel cleansing is also done by chanting OM AH HUM which connects your BODY, MIND and SPEECH to cosmic BODY, MIND and SPEECH thus you share with light of infinite enlightened beings. Witnessing meditation should be practiced when mind, body and speech are calm. Breathing techniques and chanting calm your mind and then you can witness whatever comes to the surface of consciousness–let thoughts, ideas, feelings and emotions come and go–remain unattached and keep witnessing like you witness white clouds clusters of smoke getting formed on surface of azure sky. Your witnessing presence is changeless background like deep blue sky and white clouds are ideas, memories and thought forms-they are transient and momentary–don’t give much attention to them by being interested emotionally. Merely detached passive awareness will take you to their core. Alternatively: when you are calm–cover your ears in a comfortable posture and attentively listen to inner sounds. Thoughts are merely sounds–frequencies of vibrations–so listening to word/logos is witnessing codes behind thoughts–this releases energy which was trapped in these codes and makes them light. This can be translated as ‘uploading’ in new light language of conversion and you might hear SUN or SKY or STARS by meditating on their lights in open spaces–cover your ears and keep attentively listening to the love coming from stars and far away galaxies and universes. This means a two way exchange because you are timelessly connected with all of them and tuning into them means you recognize their presence and they recognize yours.

Meditating on a regular basis on Sun might reduce your need for gross food. I am still experimenting but I have heard about yogis who don’t need any gross food. Not even water for sustenance as love is their sustenance. If you’re at the right frequency–all meditations translate to love. Light, love, witnessing, knowledge, being, life , death, rebirth and eternity mean the same thing. I intend to achieve a state where I need no gross food, water or air for sustenance. I would keep reporting my experiences here or elsewhere as this is a new experiment which liberates me from dependence on gross food. I imagine goddess Kuan Yin in Sun as we do in Yidem practice where everything is extension of our own mind. I meditate on her beautiful qualities and listen to her. She is present in my heart as well as in Sun, therefore the connection with Gaia(mother earth)–heart, Sun, Cosmic Central Sun, Galactic Sun and all other sentient beings becomes possible via our affectionate love. I witness burst of fireflies and also sparks on a regular basis as I meditate in open spaces and sometimes when I write. This is mastering the ‘fire to wind’ dissolution death stage consciously as individuating wisdom goes away and also having Radiance(Sun) present as clear light intuition guide. You can close your eyes with ears covered and keep listening to inner sounds, breathing and chanting voice of yourself as you see cool wind touching your skin. Every time you feel harmonized and in the central channel–the cold wind will touch your skin suggesting that “wind to space” dissolution is happening–the taste, volitional functions, texture and consciousness (ordinary) is lost as all drops get collected in the central channel and you feel enveloped in a “clear candle flame” at the last moment. You still carry instincts and now you might witness an inner or outer Sun based on how you’ve trained yourself. Inner and outer are one so if you open eyes while listening inner sounds and carefully witnessing how frequencies keep changing you will observe the Radiance–now in another dimension where aggressive ‘doing’ is present with 40 instinct patterns or Luminance–a clear moonlit sky inside or outside–where cold bliss and ‘desire’ is emphasis with 33 instincts patterns. The next stage observable will be ‘darkness’ with 7 instinct patterns–in it you will witness ‘fear’ or unconsciousness which is ignorance and dormant psychic forces–if you keep meditating and witnessing calmly you enter into clear light which means feeling blissful, confident, alive and calm. This externally might mean clear light of predawn sky. This signs have been taken from Tibetan Book of Dead–they help a Psychonaut to traverse through realms and mastering them by creating nodal memory portals in your spiritualo seeds means you are creating a fresh track consciously for yourself which will keep guiding you in new realms and dimensions until you acquire more knowledge. 

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