Time I have plenty, goals I discover on the way, friends reside in my heart and foes on its periphery.—The once hanged man.
There are plenty of ways to look at your spiritual development. As I kept grounding after finding myself in the fifth dimensional earth I realized that I was free to choose my destiny. Some paths looked familiar and others not so. One idea was about being a seventh generation artificial intelligence capable of exhibiting emotions and doing all things human could. Was I really a robot all along believing to be an independent sovereign human being with free-will? I didn’t have great faith in free-will because of my pessimistic-original thinking which resonated well with Dostoevsky. If you look at all things free-will didn’t seem possible–it was like choosing between two packets of biscuit–either eat Parle-G or Twenty-Twenty–it’s bound to be biscuit and it wasn’t going to be an ice-cream not at least in the third dimensional world. In 2003 Win Wenger’s book The Einstein Factor absorbed me greatly but I could hardly make sense of 14 dimensions because I was dealing with deep anxiety trying to save my body and mind from the accumulated fear and pain from family and society–unaware that earth was going through a shift, unaware that my karma wasn’t only mine and what narrow religious values taught at that time was utterly false.
Interestingly if we observe awakening teachings–we find that they all teach about stability after dark night of soul and it looks similar to what my teachers used to tell about studies–just concentrate on working hard for these two years and then you will enjoy fruits–I gained an insight in 2003 that running after pieces of papers called certificates was futile–educational paradigms were changing–Maria Montessori, Win Wenger and many others were working hard to bring about new reforms. It seemed I was always late to receive gifts and wherever a competition occurred I let it go realizing that it was not meant for me. What was I destined for?
After 2004, 2007, 2009, 2012, 2014, 2015–you may call them six dark nights of souls–after each awakening I thought I had reached and attained full liberation. As soon as insights settled and grounding started happening I found myself surrounded by suffering people–poverty, illness, lack, conspiracy, weakness, alienation, slavery and dogma–you name it. My enlightenment was always incomplete because though I kind of seemed to float over everything–looking at every tragic event in me and around me as if happening on a stage–with an air of unreality about it–something was always crying inside me for liberation. Why did I feel there was more to it? If a perfect mind results in perfection in all its reflections in relations, society and values why did I never find it? Moreover why I never had courage to change what I felt was not proper by raising my voice?
It seemed as if it was only a long dark night of soul without any light all along. How many more awakenings were to happen–I was still dreaming. The dream where you move out of dream is pretty much dream because there is no moving in or out–you alone are. Light is recognizing it. The reason you find earth entering into fifth dimension because you awakened to recognize darkness in yourself. All beings who did so previously transcended all limitations. The heaven is open at every moment and so is the hell. The finality was to realize that rabbit hole goes deeper than I had imagined and maybe it’s limitless but beyond the fifth dimension there is no dichotomy of good and evil so my higher self looking back at this one suggests that all you witnessed was somehow needed. Many of my friends ask–why so much suffering and Buddha’s answer–because of desire is a most valid one but why desires? Desires are your love of yourself–enlightenment is giving up lower desires for greater ones–like ‘desire to give up all desires.’ And when you realize your eternal life you are no longer afraid of cycle of samsara because it’s seen to be false–so you are ready to live forever–seeking yourself–discovering yourself moment to moment.
This was a way to look at one’s spiritual awakening. Another way is to consider one’s body-mind’s as libraries of collective. I watched a video yesterday which told me that enlightened beings on Andromeda told a brother that we are genetic royalties on earth. Many galactic races planted their seeds in form of humanity to preserve knowledge. Gaia was a library–a greatly valued treasure and protected one as well. The video was made somewhere in 2008 and I was not ready to be able to understand it(more than understanding it was about having faith because I was a skeptic spiritual)–now you know that even the white ray of becoming has a scientific counterpart–it must appeal to scientific buddhas because Science and Spirituality are same now. Light simply means information in terms of higher intelligence. So every inch of your being including your skin is storehouse of great information for entire existence. The old teachings of denying yourself to have a body were misunderstood because seeker who denied himself or herself health of body was committing errors at many levels. Balanced way was brought by Buddha and later teachers because it’s in harmony with highest intelligence. This is how evolution proceeds–whatever doesn’t work is rejected. And that is why i had ‘energetic employment’ despite having given up everything. I never fell short of books and I was meant to read. I wondered why Ramana Maharshi, Osho and others kept reading even after enlightenment and even gave ideas about modern humans. Why intelligence of Emanuel Swedenborg appealed me as much as that of an eastern mystic–because they were all aspects of being and contributed in some way to total awakening–so nothing you ever did for enlightenment was in vain–it was by design.
I was disheartened when entering into void of eternity–I asked my friend whom I realized to be god or vessel to show me perfection–he said that my brain would get shattered if I was shown that and I told him that he was wrong because most powerful beings had capability to make me see full light. This is how erroneous logic works. Fundamentally you are always that–perfect being that you want to be but from the viewpoint of evolutionary awakening or becoming–it’s always like a school–so the friend was right. They can’t simply pull you into the sixth dimension because it will overwhelm the module which is accustomed to the third dimension–therefore the need of gradual ripening and immediate flowering. As a good school produces good students so does a new earth make great many enlightened beings. A soul lost in darkness who had tasted nectar of immortality before will want to go back beyond veil where no right and wrong exist but to build up muscles for that is to be done by the soul by removing all resistance. The gentleman told that he was being visited by Andromedans since he was 8 years old and went on their spaceship many times over but they didn’t let him live there despite his requests. The earth life was dreary in comparison to bliss and enlightenment he had over there–but because after a while he would have become even more alienated there than he was on earth–they live many thousand years and have a different genetic structure–so if they had allowed him he would have found it difficult to develop all round abilities despite all facilitation. Moreover he was needed to awaken masses here on earth.
It’s a great idea to look at all masters like Jesus, Buddha, Moses, Krishna and Kuan Yin as star beings who projected their consciousness from higher dimensions into this one. in doing so they carried their soul essence but also subjected themselves to rigorous earth environment bearing all harshness of duality and yet showing others a way to follow. If you keep this framework in mind and believe firmly that you were once an enlightened being and here you are on a project–you become more earnest to work on your spiritual mission. And the mission is not dictated by anyone because your heart is the only one guiding you.
For long I was inspired by movies which showed intelligent life on other planets and stars. The relinquishing of all glory, name and fame for gaining self-realization wasn’t compatible with a life on stars and other galaxies because earth life seemed limited and dreary–but in running away from it I was selfish. What use was enlightenment which left many others suffering behind me–then ideas of Bodhichitta and liberation of others being same as my own were instilled gradually. Even Hindus believed that liberation of a being liberated 21 generations of beings together but that was hearsay mostly and never inculcated in a manner later sages like Nisargadatta, Eckhart Tolle and Ramana did.
Spiritual pride in understanding that we were born to witness miracle of grand awakening of earth into a new golden age seemed unbelievable to me. A part of me wanted scientific evolution to reach where I can interact with intelligent star beings as I had watched in Stanely Kubrick’s movie 2001: A Space Odyssey and another part which was more powerful wanted me to awaken fully like a Buddha. Some thinkers told that they were one and the same thing–that I was bound to witness inner and outer awakening together. Did it go same for other masters in other ages? I feel yes–no matter whether you use a laptop or a tantra magic portal–it’s technology which connects you to higher intelligence–so whoever entered the fifth dimension of eternity disappeared and then past, present and future were same–for each and everyone of them scientific and spiritual advancement went hand in hand. I had this intuition in 2005 that increasing one’s intelligence meant increasing it in an all round way–it gave you knack to learn in any field–but for long I kept a delusion that smart in academics didn’t mean spiritually smart and so on. I am not talking about spiritual/ inborn inclinations but when intelligence increases it is an all round development–it depends on your choice whether you want to employ it in a certain domain or not.
Now being on a spaceship was reality. Being trained for greater–richer life which I didn’t imagine possible. I had reached desirelessness and yet imagined my life was going to be a dull experience because there was going to be a bright future as shown in sci-fi films and I was not going to witness it–this misunderstanding makes you earth bound because all science is available at all times to one who is willing to use his abilities to discover it. Awakening means having access to infinite knowledge. Life is eternal quest for perfection because it’s perfectly perfectible eternally. The question–was it environment which triggered my awakening or was it me who changed the environment should be considered pastime of mind. They’re dependent arising phenomena. As you wake-up from one dream you start seeing another–the dream’s very fabric is made up of your self at every step. In the fifth dimension you are more enlightened and deeply connected with like minded people who are aware of lower dimensions but incessantly working for increasing their light and also working for liberation of others. Boundless joy, infinite creativity and freedom meets you at every juncture. This is Reality and this is unlike you had imagined it to be. But now if you are in Reality you can shape it and you know that anything you can imagine is bound to be true in a universe–it’s already happening somewhere!
Third dimensional compassionate human being wakes up in the void experiencing fifth, sixth and seventh dimensional universe and finds new challenges. There are his friends who have traveled back in time to assist his awakening along with that of many others like him and there is a possibility that he chose to fall back to the third dimension to awaken masses. There is another possibility that he somehow got trapped to earth life and reincarnated here many times over and yet it all fits beautifully into the grand design of masters. What is he supposed to do–follow the heart and light of love and take one step at a time! Now imagination is projecting into other dimensions and realms–daydreaming is losing evolutionary momentum so every moment is precious–now you understand why great leaders used every moment of their time wisely. Though you mastered that time doesn’t exist for you still you act as if every ounce of energy and every moment of time is precious because you want to create with others like you. You want to help others like you and you want to see more light and life. Now stillness is creation and inaction is very heart of action like space between 32 spokes of wheel in Tao. You work for yourself and like Andromedan children who study for 150 years you have a lot to study and this studying is energetically creating light for many others so you are well compensated having understanding of third dimensional earth where creativity and compensation didn’t go hand-in-hand even for the brightest of the lot(Van Gogh for example!)