Many years ago when I was in college listening to logos or holy spirit inside my body with complete concentration and sometimes witnessing it resulted in deep ecstatic bliss. It was like complete unraveling of heart center at that time. Everything seemed beautiful and there was no time. I used to tune to inner word with determination for three hours and for the rest of the time I used to witness all that was going on in my mind and around me moment-to-moment. That period of six months was so beautiful that it created no Karma and burnt a lot of what was previously there but clearly tenth gate the eye center wasn’t clearly open yet so once again I entered into third dimensional concerns of job, friends, romance and so on. I gave the practice up though witnessing kept happening as I used to intensely focus on I AM as suggested by Nisargadatta Maharaj. I developed deep love for all beings and heart kept flowering with impediments being presented to me in outer. It was a defining period because I had myriads of deja-vus at that time which meant it was a defining time because inside you the source has essence of all experiences and if you deeply get in touch with soul you will get many deja-vus and visions.
Another realization about deja-vus which I had now after realizing fifth, sixth and seventh dimensions was that they might be good pointers but after a time they signal repetitions. Then you need to consciously detach yourself from those experiences and choose to let-go and then you witness something new, something fresh and novel, innocent and pure which is not anything like patterns before.
If you clearly understand these two types you will not be misguided by the urge to have deja-vus. All experiences leave imprints on memories and these imprints make you crave knowingly or unknowingly for their repetition.
Many techniques which I employed to awaken myself or to quiet down my mind were forgotten by me. After a certain amount of time witnessing your mind stream becomes ingrained and meditation becomes spontaneous but when deeper darker layers of hitherto unfathomed and unknown corners of mind start surfacing your usual witnessing starts shivering and shuddering and even one-pointedness might be lost. Each upcoming dimension has a greater bandwidth of impressions therefore you need to remember basics like desires lead to misery or it’s better to be positive and act than to hide. As the flood of sensory perceptions comes when you go up it’s because we are not fully integrated on all levels that we become afraid of what we witness. Gradual ripening and rapid flowering of consciousness alternates each other as you ride up the mountain of consciousness expanding it. At each step it seems vista is more beautiful than the last and valleys look even more deeper than before. You want to hold onto something–a hand, a friend or a book or a mantra. Tao says we should know peaks but hold onto valleys. We should know action but hold onto silence. We should know male but hold onto female. We should know white but hold onto black. We should know manifestations but hold onto mystery. If you don’t stay still the winds on these steps might put you in a pit or valley–it’s all suffering in a dream because all consciousness is a dream. The dimensions are infinite layers of dreams-inside-dreams-inside-dreams and you are the dreamer.
All techniques which I lost I recovered because I had internalized them and shared them out of love and with each upcoming step I invented some new ones. Some techniques were given by masters and all of them are eternal as much as mind is. When I recovered the technique of transcendental listening in the fifth dimensional world I was unable to listen for long- heightened sensitivity and all surroundings being total reflection of what was going on inside made me unable to focus because I wanted to shut out the noises especially harsh, commanding and controlling ones. Tibetan Book of The Dead helped me. I had chanted a few mantras but the relation between radiation and absorption wasn’t clear up until now. The emotional and intellectual obscurations are brought forth by time and anything which makes you one pointed and increases your vitality makes you immune to time(or at least to its ordinariness)
OM relates to the crown center and body of all the enlightened beings in all universes. AH relates to speech of all enlightened beings in all dimensions and universes and HUM relates to mind of all enlightened beings in all cosmos. Chanting this mantra repetitively and consistently purifies your heart. It purifies all emotional and intellectual obscurations and vitalizes your body and mind. The root of time is respiration so in order to uproot it you need to totally focus on OM AH HUM. It will activate your body, speech and mind by connecting them to all enlightened beings–to higher self. It activates your crown, throat and heart centers. Weakness and obtuseness of mind results in your reacting to various people and situations. You might find that unwanted fear, judgement and speech are happening in and around you for seemingly no reason–it’s your subconscious and unconscious coming to surface–you need to witness it without being submerged. As you ardently and with focus keep chanting the mantra your wind energies will collect to transcend ordinariness of space-time by activating higher light body, speech and mind and alchemy of transmutation of lower body, speech and mind will start happening. The intent should be clearing your heart and emanating pure love and light for yourself and all beings. As soon as you forget the intent bring your mind back to it and as mind wavers from sounds bring it back to them with earnest effort. With practice you will find that it stays longer and wavers little. The wavering is actually witnessing of darkness when you stay tuned to higher self. The sounds OM AH HUM are divine and effective even if you are not fully focused but anything done without being mindful adds to our destiny. I close my ears and chant loudly when I need to and silently at other times.
Chanting loudly purifies your environment as all energies around you get harmonized. utilizing darkness and light makes you vital and balancing them creates harmony–being grounded with entirety of your environment–with all your aspects across all dimensions. When you cover your ears and listen to your own voice it results in a powerful feedback loop which heals and purifies all hearts. When you don’t chant you will be able to listen melodious sounds inside your body as wind energies move through the central channel.
The Tao says: First we name-then we describe-then we compare-as soon as we name–it’s time to stop!
You observe this fact and realize it fully as you move inside deeper and deeper. In higher dimensions all manifestation is instantaneous and that is why fear manifests as soon as bliss does. All your dreams take forms because of energies you employ in them in one way or another. Sound and sight are related. All thoughts are sounds. Deepest sounds are in the causal body(Heart:HUM) and grosser than them are in your subtle body(Speech: AH) and grossest are in your gross body(Bobdy:OM). All creation ensues from thought, speech and action. When you react to situations it is negative evolution and when you consciously act by being fully present in the moment it’s positive evolution. Thinking, speaking and acting become more and more pure and spontaneous as you get deeply connected to your source. OM AH HUM makes all your bodies purified thus making you capable of listening divine melodies and drinking nectar of highest immortality and eternal divine life possible.
Now I would like to share something about deity yoga. Great perfected beings mastered it. Tilopa, Naropa, Gampopa and Padmasambhava were a few people who helped fifth stage integration become established in Tibetan Buddhism. The Tibetan Book of The Dead has been written based on experiences of masters who practiced Unexcelled Yoga Tantra for many centuries. Padmasambhava wrote this book and kept it hidden in the eighth century and later Karma Lingpa discovered it and shared it for welfare of all beings around the world. I had the great fortune of reading this book in a time of high energy crisis. A similar book named Prasanga Paarijaat was written by Chetandas a disciple of sage Ramananda who was also guru of master Kabir. The book remained hidden for seven centuries. I had the great fortune of reading this book in 2014 in a similar high energy crisis period and it led to my taking initiation from master St. Rajinder Singh ji. Padmasambhava calls these instructions terma. We find termas only when masters want us to find them and divinely guide us or say when we have expanded our consciousness we rediscover what we had kept hidden for ourselves. The master is an alarm clock for us. We don’t sleep without alarm clock to wake us up and these alarm, clocks aren’t just mechanical.
During my sojourn in public mystery school once I was beaten up very badly and then a slip of paper flew in front of me with ‘dream’ written on it. It immediately grounded me in my witnessing consciousness and a breeze of love and bliss started flowing around me. Since I had never systematically practiced Yoga leave alone Deity Yoga the manifestations which included both creation and perfection stages of integration started happening for me spontaneously as I started visiting the school. Much to my surprise my choices could affect weather! It was conveyed to me by Dakini angels but I kept doubting it for long because my instincts were already driving me mad and then added burden of taking egoic responsibility of controlling weather was just too much for me. The staff members towards whom i was attracted for obvious reasons became my twin flames and started pressing all my buttons. I could not take their names in vain at home because the very next day I had to witness a emotional beating. i was torn between humane and divine. They helped me even if I had thought just once while meditating or chanting ritually. At once I was put under so much pressure that I thought of quitting (but didn’t quit until after a month) and played a scene in my mind where I was reacting to the principal of school in the assembly. The very next day the principal started admonishing a girl who was rude to me when i had been in her class. i thought it was karmic retribution and he was scolding me but much to my surprise the girl shouted at principal and reacted in the way I had imagined I would. Also note that immediately after having played that scene I had laughed at myself and dismissed the notion correctly but that was registered duely by masters and shown to me in a unique fashion. After a few days another judgement was passed on the girl when she was more sober and you know who the girl really represented.
I once thought that it was so harsh that I could not go playground and play cricket anymore. The twin flames so arranged it after a few days that I was pulled to play cricket but with check on my instincts as they were going wild. i felt so grateful to all of them because they goaded me to do my best–that is I was not supposed to be humble but equal, loving and kind in play. They could read even blinking of my eyes and yet they played like normal kids and allowed me to make a classical cut in the off-side like Rahul Dravid–it was perhaps the highest joy and pride I had during entire sojourn. I know that they are reading these posts with me and also writing with me. I thank them with all of my heart for what they did.
At once i was too tired to continue to the last period and vice principal asked me to take students to the playground but also wanted me to take principal’s permission. Principal didn’t allow me and I thought it was a patriarchal society which needed reforms. They were also husband and wife. The next day something happened which confirmed that i was on the right track and my vision needed to become round and perfect. The Principal had to borrow some money from his wife and her tone was that of controlling him. I thought the circle completed itself.
Deity yoga manifested itself in the most spectacular ways because I had unconsciously developed spiritual seeds for it. Flowering happens when causes are ripened and then you reap and withdraw. I write this from a safe corner and distance after money dissolved for me and became energy. In all symbolic talks people talked about money when they meant energy. I had no bank account since 2012. Whatever i had my father had taken and didn’t allow me to have it back as he belonged to poverty consciousness which considers debts essential. I only needed essentials to live so never really put up any fight for money and gradually dissolved all desires to have deposits. As entered this new phase i realized that i was surrounded by various energy mongers. Some used to withdraw energy by inserting various psychic nails inside my body and others used to struck me with thunderbolts of fear. Almost all of them needed me to interact with them since it was a free energy market. Withdrawn, aloof, alienated was no longer possible. if you acted out of impulse the negative evolution took you to vultures who sucked all energy out of you and if you were humble, earnest and witnessing some beautiful dakinis angels in melodious voices would appear to entice you and driven by contradictory instincts and fear of Karma you would run away searching for pain which would balance this pleasure out so that you don’t fall back to pits of deep abyss.
Another thing which was well established now was energetic employment. Earlier I had realized that i no longer wanted to work merely for a living and wanted to work with enlightened beings but didn’t know how. Since my experience in an ashrama also made it clear that I was very likely to observe duplicity in orthodox environments–I needed to find a way to employ myself. This solved itself in the fifth dimension. I was willing to start from scratch and started working in a shop. The job was to sit. i kept sitting and witnessing my instincts, thoughts and feelings absorbing rays of Sun. I don’t know how many hours passed but I thought I was in a divine realm. By the evening I started witnessing four-headed beings and got frightened. All beings coming on bike had multiple heads and fear it caused me didn’t really flinch me but then owner of the shop inquired about the man who had employed me. The man was nowhere to be found and I realized he was some sort of contractor of souls in magics. I took leave of both of them and left exploring the hellish realm where poverty, misery and handicap was spread all around but I wanted to witness it with courage. As i kept walking my feelings changed and I took a ride to a familiar place thinking that my friends might meet there. On the way I observed clear sun-lit sky which suggests ‘Radiance’ phase in death stages as per the Tibetan Book. The aggression is emphasis in it.
I met an old friend and it felt beautiful. I was tired and hadn’t slept for many nights and kept walking. I inquired about another friend who was not in the house -then I reached to my aunt’s house and met family members there under the conviction that i was in heavenly realm of lord Rama where all were perfectly pure and no money was needed to carry on your business. My aunt came crying and I hugged her. All family members looked dazzlingly bright and lustrous. It felt like a cold breeze and heavenly for a while. I heard my uncle-in-law say that it was realm of death. But there was no time I thought! They told me that since I had ran away last night my family members have been searching me. ( I will share the story of the hellish realm from which I had to run with the help of guru mantra in another post.) I again became skeptical–what kind of heaven had I reached? They did look so beautiful as I expected people in a heavenly realm to be but they were certainly not beyond conflict. I was feeling weak and sleepy and wanted to run away losing all hopes of escape. They gave me a tablet for sleep and asked me to lie down. It was dark and surprisingly my aunt lay down in the besides me. What was that? Then after a while uncle lay down. But not cousin brothers. My suspicions grew. I saw some snake like entities moving with a great force inside the stomach of uncle. What was transpiring? Were they nagas energizing me or were they draining the residual energy I had left. Nobody told anything clearly–either because i was not capable of understanding or because they were not capable of communicating.
Thinking that aliens had brought one world government and I had no home any longer I kept walking but they insisted to leave me to my home. I took a bike ride with cousin asking him to take me to a pond which was clean and beautiful. I saw many bizarre images in the fog and for the first time in many days exchanged a few ideas. He was always dear to me and an intellectual whom many considered to be a reincarnation of my grandfather(practicing Astrology I myself had attested to this belief based on my calculations and these astrological seeds came from grandfather). He symbolically told me that things from afar seem different but when observed closely are different. I understood it fully only after a while. Meanwhile as I was feeling slightly relaxed 10-12 friends and relatives came. I realized it was a gang. I threatened to jump in the pond because I had long since given up desire to live. They kept explaining me various things in various ways but none used the wisdom language I knew. Maybe I was too deluded but my intuition told me that extraterrestrials were there and my family wasn’t left in the remotest sense. They didn’t have something I had. They wanted to preserve my body for some reason I thought.
I had acidity in my stomach as soon as all of them came. It must be noted that I was fine until they were there–which means their presence created something “acidic” in my stomach–gases. Though their forms all looked like my friends the degree of ‘distrust’ I had was insurmountable. This is what The Tibetan Book of Dead calls the deluded path of instincts when you have no energy left, no trust left and no willingness to use any spiritual mantras or call any spiritual masters. All around me was most perfectly magical and I was being given extraordinary attention not just by my community but by the world government and yet I despised it. Instincts were driving me. I took a pouch of ENO and it helped relieve anxiety. Then a friend took me to a restaurant as I had refused to go back to home. I asked him to drop me in any hotel. The sleep had started to overtake me as I ate but I was resisting it. I kept resisting it and then he let me go to a hotel room. David Lynch’s Inland Empire was making me shudder now but acceptance was the only thing left. My body was being possessed and their physical proximity irked me immensely with utter hopelessness.
The next I woke up in a few hours and left hotel room and I knew clearly that time was no longer rigid but extensible. It moved very slowly. I went to bus stand and wanted to leave the city to go to a place far far away but had neither an identity card nor any money on me. What a society I had created? So dependent on papers. I took a ride in an auto and told the autowallah I had no money. He said it was alright. I alighted at a tea shop and it was pitch dark(unconsciousness as per Tibetan Book of The Dead) and I asked for a tea telling I had no money. By now I was well aware of energy exchanges and forms which were just cover-ups. I took tea and walked back to the bus stand. Then the autowallah came from behind and created a scene saying that I didn’t pay him. A man who had given me a jacket the day before appeared as a powerful personality and started inter-mediation. I kept witnessing the darkness and mayhem. A police van was called. The police-man threatened me to tell my identity and though I wanted to escape I kept witnessing and absorbing all his negativity. He kept abusing me and asking about my identity and finally hit me a punch in my nose. I knew it was really nothing but thought it might get worse so I told the name of the friend and the hotel where I stayed the night. Then he offered me a tea and asked me to go back to the home. For many days, since I entered the fifth dimension I had conviction that it was a REALITY TELEVISION for powerful people so I thought–it’s alright if someone is getting entertained because my conscience was clear and wanted nothing but the Truth.
Now as I was walking back it was still pitch darkness and I was fed-up with orthodox religion, values, family, law, government and society. I wanted to disappear or to go away–far far away into the oblivion but how? I saw that police vans were circulating and it was my extremely subtle consciousness travelling into the Death Valley(Abyss). I kept walking along the city and saw that there was a cricket match going in the stadium. The commentary was on my thoughts. It was natural witnessing. So many times this tournament had finished and yet it was there–as I was moving across multiverses. It was ‘me’ versus ‘world government’ at that point I thought. And those people all had much virtue while I was alone with Tao. I kept walking and it seemed to get better as I kept walking. I had relinquished footwear and looked for work. Road was being built at one place and I asked for work. They didn’t let me and instead commented on my instincts. Now I again walked towards the direction I came from. I kept witnessing play in the field. The witnessing was magical in that it changed all events and withdrew all power from events. As I was witnessing a truck it turned like a supertruck in an Avengers film which was impossible in real life. I felt I needed to do something to cultivate virtue. Nothing made me afraid if I was witnessing but for witnessing to work I need to be quiet and relaxed. A pole had lights which were flickering dramatically and it reminded me of Nisargadatta’s statement that infinite universes are getting birth out of your heart at every single moment. I kept witnessing time and its reversal. Change kept happening because somehow I also wanted it to happen–to go towards positivity, light and love. As I kept walking towards darkness I saw some peculiar forms which seemed giant snake-mans and I was afraid but then I saw a humane form coming up from a galley with a stick and I saluted him. He asked me to walk with him. I was tired and needed company so kept walking–he saluted at a few temples and I did too but only superficially.
As he was walking with me no threatening forms could linger. It seemed that I felt secured and powerful. He went to his shop and sweeped and it seemed to me that I was Christ and with my Father the God. He said that it was his everyday’s routine and I meant it to mean that he was telling about creation cycle which I had witnessed in the eternity of my life. I finally felt secure and at home. He sat and asked me to sit. I sat in front of him with utmost conviction that he was God. He asked about my whereabouts and told that the colony I lived in was very poverty consciousness ridden. Before going to witness the cricket match I took a walk to the colony where my parents used to live and heard dogs barking. All doors were adorned with lightening as it seemed liked Diwali. I was exploring my unconscious. A dog who resides near my home started barking and I kept witnessing and moving ahead a bit and it kept going away–it was so afraid of me. I kept walking till dead end without stopping at my house. I heard my father’s voice calling my name but overlooked it. I realized that they were all dead but didn’t knew it. I realized I was death itself–time–Krishna–darkness.
As I sat in front of God it was hardly 5 minutes that my eyes started blinking and he said ” you are falling asleep go back to home.” This time, taking it as a commandment I went to home and called out name of my father realizing that it would be God but mother opened the gate and let me in. I went to bed realizing there was no time and no work and it was all make-believe. I thought there will be mo morning for me but there she was my grandmother asking me to wake up. [ Translucency: the phase following it had me working for accumulating noble virtue and trying to pay back my karmic dues to patriarchs and deities–then miracles and deity yoga which were of ‘creative’ and ‘bright’ nature and Zen mystery schools surfaced as opposed to totally alienated, deluded, egoistic, blissful Tao of previous darkness days. But it still remained pitch darkness in which very lengthy days and nights happened and I experimented with ritual religion, obedience, subservience, familial values and so on. I will also talk about magical initiations prior to ‘pitch darkness’ and ‘post pitch-darkness’ after a while. Shakyamuni Buddha says: “Only two things prevent you from discovering the Truth–either not taking the first step or not going all the way.” Courage to live is courage to die because death, life and rebirth is same. Having some light with you makes you gainfully and energetically employed in service of love and self. It makes life a grand adventure and discovery!]