I pay homage to Kuan Yin, Padmasambhava, Nisargadatta, Ramana, St. Rajinder Singh Ji, Jesus, Yogananda, Buddha and all my spiritual friends for having made me capable of recalling and writing down these. May these help all spiritual seekers and heal all beings!
I never systematically practiced Yoga unless you consider whole life a school of Yoga where my yearning to be liberated grew day by day. It was supposed to be gleaning wisdom from books, friends, videos, angels and life. I had read about mystery schools but never imagined participating in one until now. This story might take many posts and I am sharing with hope that it would help some of you, entertain you and might make you my friend on path of light if you feel it resonates with you in some senses.
I had many awakenings. To be clear, at this point I don’t believe myself be a person. I am a wisdom recollection participating in the creation of light or Bodhichitta. I feel my personality died many times. You might call these awakenings. Beginning from 2005(in this time-line) I had major awakenings in 2007, 2012 and 2016. In November 2016, I died in the sense of having witnessed stopping of my heartbeat and showed it to a neighbor who confirmed it. Before that I felt a great deal of depression as well as thrill as many miracles were happening around me. Since I had used some substances and there was remnant unconsciousness I entered into a between state where miracles and realizations beyond my wildest dreams started happening. Prior to this, in case of every awakening I had considered it to be ‘final.’ I considered myself an empath and a very spiritual person but clearly I needed this schooling.
What happened in the mystery school?
I had read that life is the greatest teacher and whatever or whoever teaches us in life is the manifestation of our highest self. I did grasp it intellectually and realized it as I used to reflect back on relations and difficulties which made me let-go and die to my olden ways of living and being, still I didn’t have immediacy of karmic vision. Some people ask–if it’s bad to do some things why don’t we feel consequences while doing those things in a way as we get our hands burnt when we put them into the fire? This is because our gross vision can’t look at all the layers which create our collective Karma–how our choices at every step affect our past present and future! Similarly there are people who might find it difficult to stick to their true character, true nobility and virtue when times are tough because of lack of conviction about true nature of Reality. My tryst with death proved beyond doubt that my awakenings and understanding about the nature of Reality was far from perfect.
Pythagoras visited India many thousand years ago and he wrote about mystery schools. Gurdjieff and other mystics also wrote about the same. It was for the first time I realized that I had been living in a mystery school all my life without being aware of it. I had read about Zen masters beating students for being inattentive and I was beaten, thrashed and smashed for being careless or mindful. I was crushed for believing in a bookish version of Reality which I didn’t deserve karmically. This I write with a heart full of gratitude now. I was mostly unconsciousness in this juncture as we usually are all our sleep-walking lives unless we awaken to our higher self and reality. Miracles I witnessed included seeing(feeling) various manifestations of avatars, ghosts, nagas, gods, angelic beings and true inexplicable nature of reality where whatever you expect is denied but whatever happens is so beautiful and lovely that you never dreamt such beatitude possible. I witnessed hell, demonic and magical and I witnessed divine, heavenly and humane. I had interviews with lords of time and I lived through such tight sojourns that even a blinking of an eye or an instinctual smile on my face resulted in a scornful response from masters of time and death. What in a three dimensional realm would translate as a period of group ragging in a college by seniors might be amplified many times over to get a faint glimpse of what I had to go through without any hopes of ever getting out of it. And maybe I am still in it until I learn to adapt in the fifth dimension skillfully and learn to let-go to build enough momentum and let healing complete.
Imagine being surrounded by 100, 200, 1000 or even more people–markets upon markets full of people who are soaking your psychic energy–what will you do? There are no friends out there except maybe some pious friends from old three dimensional world who show you some light? You don’t know what is right or wrong and instincts draw you blind. In those scenarios only surrender happens. Witnessing great changes in seasons, meeting powerful beings who threatened me on my face to correct my ways and getting infinitely long reactions on every agitated reaction I had, is perhaps not a mystery school anyone will sign for. Perhaps you might if you know it’s for your good and that is what I did believing that fearlessness and desirelessness will lead me to the ‘natural state’ perfection about which Kabir, Ramana and other masters have so often spoken.
There are many ways to look at what happened. Earth moved into 5th dimension and I was forced to move into it without preparation–is one way of telling it. But I was always unprepared–be it 2005, 2007 or 2012/2016. Another way to look at it is that my awakening sent me into a dimension where everyone around me was more evolved(still is!) People could read my thoughts. They could create karma by suggestions and they could read my past like a clean book in a second. They could undo past and they spoke in symbols–in dream language with each other and to me. I thought for a long time that they didn’t really need to speak to each other using words and it was only me they wanted to hear their words.
I had feelings of being a newborn baby. Being a ghost, a fly, a cow, a dog, a buffalo, an artificial intelligent robot, a computer, a prostitute, a bike, a stone, a lady, a goddess, a god and an avatar. It might all be considered to be delusion(because of attachment to forms) or paranormal experiences which were needed to reinforce in me understanding of karmic repercussions.[White ray reality of becoming–dependent arising was not well established into my spiritual genes as I had persuaded black ray reality of being mostly] Except a few occasions, when I was in hellish realms I wasn’t assaulted physically. I begged for food, worked a bit and witnessed what it means to give food to ghostly elders out of gratitude(because all life is connected). Only after entering into the void by force I understood what demonic, ghostly, divine and humane meant and how much the light coming from our spiritual genes–from our guides, gurus or higher self helps us.
The symbolic language used was mostly dream language I understood in my three dimensional reality: for example–[bikes, cars, trucks etc were symbolic of body vehicles and I was again and again directed to understand that myriads upon myriads souls possess a space or a body unless you are aware and pure]water or emotion, milk or nectar of immortality or carnal pleasures, birds for various sage-types–such as kingfisher for those who chant and do penance, Swan for those who are detached and posses discrimination and eagles for those who are detached yet powerful and so on. Eating meant both physical eating or mental tasting of things which were sensual. Law people, authorities and principals of schools were all karmic lords of time and death. At once I had to play two roles: at home I was supposed to be a respectful adult who could pay karmic debts back and at the job site I was supposed to be a kid. I was acting as a teacher in a school but it turned out to be a mystery school like that of Harry Potter’s where magic, miracles and drama were all in full swing. They were all perfected beings teaching me more than I could cope with.
I began as an avatara–I considered myself to be an avatar. Then I came down to be a human being. Then I felt like being a kid who was supposed to work like an adult. Then I became a devotee who saw various gods and thereafter I had to give up because I reached a situation where I could barely lift my head up for a minute without being cursed with a million affirmations. My head was torn apart and I took it as an empowerment of vehicle. Thereafter another journey happened. It was the summum bonum of all my spiritual hardships. I will talk about that and other things in another post.
Mystery schools do exist. Masters, guides, angels and gods are present amongst us at all times. As a Buddhist master has said–if causes are ripe buddhas will appear then and there teaching us things. I feel my ripening must have been explosive because masters and lords of time appeared dramatically and my family, friends, neighbors and whole world around me became the most stringent Zen masters. The main problem was: lack of formal instruction. It was all based on understanding and feedback./ If I plainly asked someone a thing they would refuse to guide me. If I told anyone about astounding mystical experiences they outrightedly rejected and denied them. I feel this was more because they were all awakening with me. I feel being in a noble company, cultivating merits and then acceptance helps but life is ever unexpected and fresh and no awakening is final! May this narrative help you on path of light and arouse interest in you to be more spiritual. Tibetan Book of The Dead and I AM THAT along with Kuan Yin and many other spiritual friends helped me to gain an understanding into what happened to me and they gave me courage to narrate this to release stuck emotional energies for healing and love. Thank you very much for reading!